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I set up a fake email address for the “Narwhal Appreciation Society”. And sent a co-worker an email from the address says. “We at the Top I’m Done Teaching Let’s Go Camping Shirt. Have an affinity for this majestic creature and we wanted to see if you would like to join our society.”. I emailed him roughly 2-3x per year for 3-4 years. For the first year, when we still worked together, I’d see him open the email, shake his head and say aloud “Not these fucking guys again!” But he never attempted to block the email address. He responded to some (becoming increasingly agitated) and ignored others. In one response, he attached pictures of dead narwhals that had been killed by Inuit hunters and said “This is what I think of your stupid Narwhal. I hate them. I wish them all dead!”.

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We snuck out in the middle of the night and stole the athletic director’s prized golf cart. We pushed it up a hill to the school. One of our friends was able to get keys from a custodian and let us in a back door. We got the golf cart into the building and then into a Top I’m Done Teaching Let’s Go Camping Shirt. We decorated it with nonsense and left it there and locked everything up. In the morning, everyone not in on it was completely confused about how the hell we had pulled it off. We didn’t even damage anything, even the chain we had to cut to get the golf cart free was replaced, with a note, on our athletic director’s doorstep. The custodial staff wasn’t even mad at having to take the cart out because it was so ridiculous.

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In my senior year in high school, there were three of us who took satellite language courses. While the third student took a Top I’m Done Teaching Let’s Go Camping Shirt. It was proctored in house by one of the gym teachers, and because we were generally good. And smart kids, he left us to our own devices. This mostly meant that we flirted mercilessly with each other while ignoring the teacher who couldn’t hear or see us on the tv. My senior class did something like this to our principal.

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